Day 55

Maks had his first eye exam today. I am going to type out the results from the report just for my future reference. It still doesn't mean that much to me because I am not an eye doctor, but I want to remember. A very good thing, is that he has no evidence of Plus disease. That is a disease where the blood vessels in the eye are very tortuous. This is a sign of fairly imminent and severe retinopathy. We are very grateful for that. His left eye shows no signs of ROP (retinopathy of prematurity). His right eye has a "ridge" in zone 2. This looks sort of like a wrinkle to the viewer. He displays mild ROP in that eye, so he will get another exam done next week to see if it changes at all or progresses. Apparently, this is a fairly common occurrence in micro preemies, and it has the potential to resolve on its own with no lasting effects. That is why they continue to monitor it. If it progresses in a negative fashion, a surgical procedure will need to be done to stop further damage.

He seemed to tolerate the procedure okay, but it is fairly agitating, so he couldn't have much more stimulation today. He was scheduled for a bath this evening, and I was going to try breast feeding again, but because of the procedure, the nurse and I decided it would probably be best to hold off on those and just hold him. That was just fine with me, and I enjoyed some Brady-free snuggles today! Yay!


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Day 54

Dr. Anschutz was on today. He wrote orders to decrease the oxygen to 3L and to discontinue the Actigall. They will recheck his bilirubin on Friday to see if there is a change. They will also check his hematocrit again on Friday to make sure it isn't too low. I am starting to get to know the doctors better, and I can anticipate what kind of orders will be written based on which neonatologist is on that day. It is very interesting. Maks' eye exam will be done tomorrow. We continue to pray for favorable results.

Logan has been sick for the last week and a half, so he hasn't been able to see Maks at all. This has been very hard on Logan. He finally felt well enough to come in today to see him, and he couldn't believe how much he has changed! He really is growing fast!

When I was holding Maks tonight, he had several bradys and desats right in a row. Eventually we ended up putting him back in the incubator to calm down. I HATE THIS! Everyone I have talked to who has had a baby in the NICU says how fantastic "kangaroo care" or skin-to-skin contact is because they would hold their baby close and just watch the vital signs stable. It frustrates me and makes me nervous to hold Maks when he doesn't do well. Sometimes it makes me not want to hold him at all for fear of how he will tolerate it. I know he is still very small and immature, I just want him to be comfortable in his mommy's arms. Hopefully we will get there soon!


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Day 53

Maks is doing great today! He weighs about 3 lbs 1 oz and is 15 inches long! Dr. Jenkins didn't write any new orders. We tried breast feeding again, and he seems to be latching on okay, but he is having a hard time staying on because the oral gastric tube gets in the way and causes him to lose suction. We will keep trying, but I think we will have more success when he can switch to a nasal gastric tube.

He was wide awake when I went in this evening. He is such a cutie! Look how strong he is getting! I love to see the startle reflex, sneezes, and yawns. He looks like a little old man in there.

He has his first eye exam this week. Retinopathy of prematurity, or ROP, is very common in micro preemies. It is basically a destruction of the small blood vessels in the eyes. There are several reasons preemies are at risk, including immature blood vessels and a high amount of oxygen administration. The test is uncomfortable for the baby, so I am not looking forward to him having to go through it. We are praying that he will tolerate it well and that the test won't reveal any retinopathy.

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Day 52

Maks had a better day today! His hematocrit was around 31.5, but Dr. Jenkins is on today, and he doesn't automatically transfuse below 35 like Dr. Anschutz does. Since Maks had a good night with few bradys and desats, Dr. Jenkins decided not to give him blood today. He also decided to discontinue the iron supplement to see if it will help reduce his bilirubin.

I think I forgot to mention yesterday that Maks reached 3 pounds! Today he is 3 pounds and 1 ounce. He is really growing and is up to 30ml of breast milk every 3 hours, which is a whole ounce! He has come so far from the 1ml we started at several weeks ago.

The best part about today is that we got to take a shot at breast feeding. I wasn't really expecting it to be very successful, but Maks was a trooper and latched on several times! Hopefully with more and more practice every day, we can work actual breast feeding into his meal routine.


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Day 51

I wouldn't call today a set-back day, but it wasn't a step forward either. I went to see Maks after church, and he had been having lots of bradys and desats. He was also requiring quite a bit more oxygen, and he wasn't doing well enough to decrease the liter amount to 3L. The nurse and I decided that it would be okay to try skin to skin with Maks in an upright position on my chest and see how he tolerated it. He did okay, but he really had a hard time keeping his sats up. We put him back in the incubator after about 20 minutes or so. (I sure wish holding him made everything better!) I stayed by his bed for quite a while because I was worried about him. While I was there, he continued to have episodes of bradys and desats, and he also had several episodes of tachypnea (rapid breathing). Dr. Anschutz has been wondering about the reliability of the last hematocrit that was done on Thursday because Maks has been looking a little pale. It was 41 the other day, but this number is a percentage and can fluctuate based on hydration status. Another hematocrit will be drawn tomorrow morning. If it is low, it could be the cause of his problems today. If so, he will need another blood transfusion, which also means another IV, but at least it would give us an answer to what has been going on, with a fairly easy fix.

I went in again for the evening cares to check on him. I noticed is belly was quite a bit more swollen than it was earlier. I had the nurse check it and measure it to compare to the morning findings. It was 28 cm this morning, and tonight it is 30. It is definitely bigger, but it doesn't seem to be causing him discomfort at the moment, and he shows no signs of pain upon palpation. He also was doing better with his oxygenation and having less "episodes" of bradys and desats. The charge nurse tonight has been Maks' nurse several times, so I had her come check his belly as well since she is more familiar with him than his assigned nurse. She said they will both keep an eye on it and watch for other signs of complications. The nurse put Maks on his belly to ease digestion and to see of it helps reduce the swelling at all. Hopefully it will, and things will be better in the morning.

He really is such a cute kid! The nurse was suctioning his mouth tonight, and he was just looking at me like, "I've had enough of this, mom. Can't we just go home and snuggle on the rocking chair?" He is such a trooper. I feel so bad that he has to go through this and that I can't just hold him and make everything better!

After he was placed on his belly, he was trying to suck on his hand. I decided to grab the pacifier and see if he liked it. It is a teeny preemie pacifier, and he couldn't quite get it all in his mouth, but he did suck on it! I thought it was so cute to see him doing a "normal baby" thing, so I took a picture AND a video of him sucking on it. I love how his hand is holding it in place!

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Day 50

Maks is approaching the 3 lb mark! I can't believe how big he is getting. It is hard for me to notice much of a change because I see him every day, but I know he is growing inside and out.

He really is doing well! It is hard to think back on the last seven weeks and realize how badly things could have gone. He truly is a miracle. There was a baby boy born about 4 weeks after Maks, and he was just like Maks: 26 weeks, 1lb 2oz, etc. I came in one day this week to find him intubated and on a ventilator. The next day he had to be sent to Boise because of a perforated bowel, and it is unclear whether or not he is going to make it. I feel so bad for his teenaged parents. It definitely took me back a couple of weeks when Maks had to go back on the ventilator. We are so blessed he turned a good corner and is still doing well today.

I am starting to get back to normal and to accept the fact that I am not pregnant any more. I know that probably sounds weird, but the other day I had to remind myself that I could lift a heavy box because I'm not pregnant. Today I saw a bunch of pictures of babies and pregnant girls, and it makes me sad that I am missing so much this time around. It is particularly difficult when I think about missing out on the first three to four months of Maks' life. I know I still get to see him and watch him grow, and I am so grateful for this. I just see other moms with their newborns, and it is difficult. It will sure be a wonderful day when we can bring Maks home!


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Day 49

No blockages were seen on the ultrasound of Maks' liver. We are so grateful. Hopefully the Actigall will start helping lower his bilirubin while his liver matures enough to get off of it. Dr. Anschutz lowered the oxygen amount to 3.5L, and Maks is rocking it! We pray for more good days ahead.

I somehow survived my first week of work. It was insane! My offices are so far behind, and I feel like I made no progress. The hardest part was trying to focus. I am out of practice because I have been off for so long, and it turns out that I am pretty distracted. Needless to say, I am not performing as quickly as I am used to, and it is extremely frustrating. I also go go go all day long, so my brain has been having a hard time shutting down at night, and I can't fall asleep. I am so tired, and I am really looking forward to catching up on some sleep this weekend so I can start all over next week.

I know that "this too shall pass," but life is hard right now. It isn't awful, and I don't hate it; it is just hard.

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Day 48

Maks continues to do well on the vapotherm. He even did well when I held him this evening. He was looking a little pale this morning when Dr. Anschutz was doing his rounds, so he ordered a hematocrit. Dr. Anschutz always transfuses if the hematocrit is less than 35. On Monday, Maks' was 38, so I was worried that it had dropped and that he would need blood today. I was so grateful when his labs came back as 41. That means his body is starting to do it on its own!

The Actigall hasn't really helped to bring his bilirubin down, so the doctor also ordered an ultrasound of his abdomen, particularly his liver, to check for a blockage in his bile duct. We don't know the results of that yet, hopefully we will by tomorrow morning. We pray that they are favorable!


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Day 47

We made it to the vapotherm, and Maks is tolerating the change well! Yay! I got to hold him this evening, and it was nice not to have all of the bubble CPAP tubing to stress about. Just the one nasal cannula. I took a picture, and it isn't much of a change around his face, but the amount of tubing leading up to the nasal cannula has decreased, making it less complicated to move him around. He is on 4L and around 30-35% of oxygen. Here are a few pictures of him with the decreased paraphernalia. Check out that bubble he is blowing! I thought it was impressive!








When I was holding him, we dimmed the lights so it wasn't bright, but he somehow wiggled his hand out of the blanket and put it over his eyes. It was so cute, and he kept it there for a long time. Milyn likes to sleep like this! Look at his cute hand.


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Day 46

Maks continues to do well, and since he has been doing so well on the bubble CPAP, Dr. Anschutz has decided he would advance Maks to the vapotherm. This will happen tomorrow if Maks continues to maintain his oxygen sats throughout the night. He has done well today, so we pray he has a good night. The best thing about getting rid of the bubble CPAP, is getting rid of the majority of the tubes and going to just one. He will be on a high-flow nasal cannula, and it will be so much easier and less complicated to hold him. I'm excited, and it is definitely a step in the right direction! There is always a possibility that he won't tolerate it, but we're making progress.


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Day 45

Maksim weighs 1200 grams today! That is 2 pounds, 10.5 ounces. He is also up to 25 ml of breast milk every three hours. This will continue to increase as it is now calculated based on his weight.

I took a picture of him today trying to escape his incubator. He is getting pretty strong, and he was completely sideways when I got to the hospital for rounds this morning! I'm not sure why he is aways doing this. What a funny kid.


Dr. Anschutz is back on starting today. I had a few questions for him. I started with Maks' bilirubin, which remains slightly elevated. Not much has changed since he started the Actigall. That could mean it is doing nothing, or it is keeping it from being really high. He said he will probably check the level again on Wednesday, then discontinue the Actigall, then recheck levels on Friday to see if they increase without it. Hopefully Maksim's liver can kick into high gear, so he can remain off the Actigall.

I also asked him about the strawberry hemangiomas that Maks has. He has one on his back and a larger one on his neck. The doctor said that over his first 1-3 years of life, these will eventually cut off their own blood supply and go away. He said at this point, they are nothing to be concerned about. If they become a cosmetic concern, there are a few things that can be done dermatologically to reduce their appearance.

I finally started work today. I say "finally," because I have been dreading it quite a while. I absolutely love my job; life is just a bit more complicated and stressful than it was 6 weeks ago. My first day back was definitely crazy. The agencies I review for are quite behind because the girl who was covering for me is newer at the process. Therefore, I have A LOT of catching up to do, and a lot of learning, as there is also a new process that was put into place while I was away. I am very blessed to have an amazing boss who has been so kind to me since Maks was born. I know it will continue to be difficult; I just have to adjust and recognize that this is going to be my new normal. I had just perfected the whole working-mommy-with-toddler thing; now I have to start perfecting the working-mommy-with-toddler-and-a-baby-in-the-NICU thing, just in time to be thrust into bringing the NICU baby home and figuring out everything that goes into that adjustment. Whew! I'm exhausted just thinking about it. I guess I should just stop thinking and start adjusting! :)

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Day 44

I am a horrible wife! I forgot to give a shout out to the best husband and father yesterday. It was Logan's birthday, and he turned 26! My sister, Lindsay, and her family came to visit from Boise, and my brother-in-law, Mark, took Logan to Targhee to go snowboarding. They had a blast, but were definitely worn out afterwards. :) It was also my niece, Rylie's birthday, so we celebrated with cake and ice cream when the boys got back. So, here is a belated happy birthday to Logan and Rylie! I love you!








Maks is still doing well! Logan got to hold him again today,and he seems to be recovering well from all the stimulation yesterday. He has had a lot of good days lately, and we count our blessings every day for that! Please continue to pray for him. I also start work tomorrow, and I am pretty nervous about it. Hopefully we will all be able to adjust, and life will go on as normally as possible.

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Day 43

Maks is 6 weeks and weighs 2 pounds 9 ounces! He got to have his first photo shoot today. So many people have generously offered their photography services to us, and I didn't know how to pick one. Logan's cousin, Shalee Brown, has taken all of our pictures for us since our engagements, so we decided to keep that tradition going for Maks' first photo shoot. I am hoping to get lots of pictures of Maks and our family from all of our photography friends when he finally comes home!

Thanks, Shalee! We love them!
























Maks did well, but it definitely wore him out. He has struggled to keep his oxygen sats up the rest of the day, and he has had several self-recovered bradys. Once again, it is so hard for me because doing typical newborn things, like taking pictures, is so taxing on him. I just wanted to snuggle with him when we were done, but resting in the incubator is what he needed to recover. He just doesn't have the energy reserves that full-term newborns have. He will get there, though, and soon we will have a photo shoot with the whole family!

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Day 42

Maks is having another good day. They started adding a fortifier to the breast milk to help with his growth. I personally cringe at the idea of this because I am all about all-natural, breast-fed newborns, and the fortifier is artificial, but I just keep telling myself that his tiny body needs the nourishment, and he has had lots of artificial things keeping him alive up to this point. Hopefully it will be easy on his system and not cause him any problems. They also started adding iron to his multivitamin, and he got the Synagis injection today, which is an antibody he receives monthly to protect him against RSV.

I was able to help give him a bath this morning, and since he no longer has the PICC line, he actually got to get in the basin of water. I don't think it was his favorite, but he is now all clean! After I washed his hair, it was all fuzzy and cute. I finally caught a good picture of his wavy, blonde hair. He has so much!


People keep asking me how I am doing, and I usually just say that I am fine. Sometimes I really am okay, but I definitely have my moments. Tonight we took my sister Lindsay and her husband Mark up to the hospital because Mark has never seen Maks before. I hate how anticlimactic it is sometimes when I go to the hospital. We drove all the way there, walked in, washed up, went into his room, and yet all we could do was stand there and look at him through the incubator. I didn't even get to hold him today because I felt like it would be too much stimulation for him since he had a bath. I was so unbelievably involved and dedicated with Milyn. I can't tell you how many books and articles I read on proper sleeping habits and eating habits, what to do and what not to do, etc. I was a pro, and I probably stressed about everything a little too much. With Maks, however, I can't do anything; I have no say in his care; I have no say in his schedule; I literally control nothing, and I sometimes feel like I have nothing to offer him because the staff does everything for him.

Now, I know they are doing a fantastic job, and I am not complaining about that. I also know that there is no way I could take care of my son if he was home with me right now. He needs to be where he is, and I understand that. It is just hard! Life is hard right now, and it is about to get even harder and more complicated with work starting on Monday. I don't even remember what I do for work. It has been so long, and it has just not been on my priority list. I have no idea how I am going to do it without becoming completely exhausted running from one thing to the next. I am nervous and scared.

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Day 41

Happy first Valentine's Day, Maksim! Mommy even made a Valentine for you to hang by your bed, which is a measure of true love, because mommy hates paper crafting (as you can tell by the laughable quality of the Valentine). We hope you know how much mommy, daddy, and Milyn love you! You are such a miracle, and we are so glad you are part of our forever family. We can't wait to bring you home!


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Day 40

Happy day for Maksim! They discontinued the TPN today, which means they also took out the PICC line! No more IVs, and no more artificial nutrition! We have one happy baby and one happy momma. Just look at those tiny arms with no lines!

He is up to 18ml of breast milk every 3 hours. They switched the caffeine to oral since he no longer has the IV, and he is still getting the Actigall and multivitamin. He is doing great today!

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Day 39

Today was Maksim's first bath. Yes, it has been 5 1/2 weeks, but he couldn't have one until he was at least 1000 grams. Logan and I both got to be there. I took a few pictures while Logan gave him the "bath." Because of the PICC line, he couldn't actually be set in the water, so he really just had a sponge bath, but it was something, and he should smell a lot better now! :) Maks loved it, and he was relaxed the whole time. I still can't believe all of his cute blonde hair!





During rounds today we got some good news! They are starting to slowly wean the artificial nutrition. They started today by discontinuing the lipids. That is definitely a step in the right direction, and tonight he is up to 16 ml of breast milk every 3 hours! Keep it up, Maks!

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Day 38

Maks is moving up in the world, well up in the NICU world. He finally moved rooms today. This is not really a big deal, but characteristically the sickest babies are in the first bay, and he is now in the second bay of babies. Yea!

No new medications today, and he is continuing to tolerate the breast milk with regular bowel movements. He is on bubble CPAP setting of 5, and requires around 30-40% on his oxygen. He was really cute and happy today, and he did great when I held him. Since he is over 1000 grams, we are no longer required to glove up when we put our hands in the incubator. He was wide awake this evening when I went to see him! What a cutie!


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Day 37

Logan got to hold Maks for the first time today! What a special moment for father and son.







He is tolerating the increase in breast milk well, and he will continue to increase by 1ml every 12 hours! He is also continuing the caffeine, TPN, Actigall, and multivitamin. New labs will be drawn in the morning to check his bilirubin.

When we were in Utah yesterday, Logan got me a gift for Valentine's day/Maks' birth. I love the Willow Tree figurines, and it has kind of been a tradition for Logan to get me one for different phases of our life. We found this one, and it is so perfect for us right now. For some reason, it makes me so happy when I see it. Just to see everyone in awe of the sweet miracle of new life brings me peace. I have the perfect place for it on our mantle!




At church today, I got to hold a newborn baby boy who was born just a week after Maks. It was crazy to hold a baby that big and healthy with no tubes and IVs getting in the way and no alarms sounding in my ear. I got a little emotional because I wish it was that simple to hold my sweet Maks, but I know I am so blessed to have a baby at all to hold. What a miracle he truly is to even be here and doing so well! Hopefully one day soon it will be just as simple to hold him, and I can make up for all the lost snuggles!

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Day 36

Maks has been doing so well with the breast milk that the doctor has decided to increase by 1ml every 12 hours. Before it was being increased every 24 hours. So today he got 9ml of breast milk beginning at 8am, then it was increased to 10ml at 8pm. Hopefully he can handle this increase and get off the TPN soon! They also started a multivitamin, which he will likely remain taking until and maybe even after discharge. He looks really good, and he is still really pink.

Logan, Milyn, and I decided to take a really quick trip to Utah today. Logan is planning on going snowboarding next weekend, and his brother had been borrowing his snowboard. We went to get that, but really it just gave us a good excuse to take a break from the current monotony. It was a nice getaway, but we are all really tired now! We went shopping with Logan's brother Stetson and his wife Kylee, then we went with them and my brother Brian and his wife Stephanie to dinner. It was so good to see them all! We don't get to see them often because they live in Utah, and we miss them a lot!





Before heading home, we had to quickly run to Build a Bear to build a stuffed dog for Maksim. Logan and I did this for Milyn just shortly before she was born, and we decided to make it a tradition. All three of us warmed aheart, and Milyn put them in dog. She thought it was pretty fun.





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Day 35

Maks surged past 1000 grams today and doubled his birth weight! He is getting to be a little blonde chunk. He also had a major bowel movement last night and another one this morning. Hallelujah! We are always excited to see that system working. :)

A few things happening right now that are causing me stress: Maks is requiring quite a bit more oxygen to maintain his saturations in the desired range, and his direct bilirubin is quite elevated in his last labs, so they are going to start giving him a medication called Actigall. TPN causes things to build up in the liver. If left there over long periods of time, they start to do damage. Phototherapy lights help get rid of the indirect bilirubin, but medication is required to get rid of the direct bilirubin. He will be getting the Actigall twice a day until his labs resolve and his direct bilirubin goes back to normal.

It seems as if everything is starting to stress me out. Every little thing that goes wrong is somehow magnified in my mind. Elevated bilirubin leads to liver disease and neurological issues; if he misses a bowel movement for a day or two, he is automatically not tolerating the breast milk; and increased oxygen needs now means he will come home on oxygen. Logically, I know that isn't necessarily the case, but emotionally, that is all I see.

It is even starting to get stressful when I hold Maks. I hate that I'm not the best thing for him. If he does well when I hold him, I am fine, but as soon as he starts fussing or desatting, even if just a little, I want to put him back in the incubator where I know he will be comfortable on his belly. I can't just feed him or cuddle him or swaddle him to make him better, and that is a hard thing for a mommy.

I know that Maks is doing well and beating lots of odds, and I know I need to accept the fact that my life is just going to be a little more complicated than I expected it to be, but that is so much easier said than done. The shock of everything has pretty much worn off, and now I just have a bunch of stress and "what ifs" ruminating in my mind.

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Day 34

The past couple of days I have thought Maks has been looking kind of pale. I wasn't sure why, but I mentioned it to the nurse practitioner yesterday. I am glad I did, because she decided to order another hematocrit today, and it was only 28 (that is really low). Needless to say, when I came in this morning, a couple of nurses were in his room trying to get a new IV started so he could have another blood transfusion. They finally got one started in his left leg, and they infused the blood this afternoon. I don't know if the pictures really do it justice, but I took one of Maks before and after the blood. I notice it mostly in his face. Look how pale he is in the first picture; the blood definitely helped to "pink" him up!





We're up to 7ml on the breast milk, and he still hasn't had a bowel movement. I am starting to get worried, but Doctor Jenkins said his belly still looks and sounds good, so he isn't concerned yet. Other than the blood, no other new orders today. He continues on the TPN and the caffeine.

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Day 33

Maks is going strong today. He seems to be tolerating the 6ml of breast milk every 3 hours well. He hasn't pooped in the past couple of days, so that has me a little concerned, but his belly is still soft, and he still has good bowel sounds. Hopefully everything is all still working well, and he is just getting ready for a big blow out. :)

He hates to be on his back, and he requires more oxygen in that position. He definitely favors his belly, and seems to maintain better oxygen saturations with less oxygen requirements when he snuggles up on his belly. His CPAP is still at 5, and he is between 25% and 40% on his oxygen. Overall he is having a good day. We pray that he continues to tolerate the slow increases in the breast milk so he can get off the TPN soon!

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Day 32 - 1 Month Old!

Maks is 1 month old today! His sweet nurse decorated this for him today, so I had to take a picture. He is still pretty tiny, but just look at the difference a month has made. This first picture is kind of blurry, but he was just a day or two old.


These next pictures are his first "comparison" pictures. When I had Milyn, I took a picture of her next to a teddy bear every month of her first year for a comparison of her growth. For Maks, I bought a washable monkey, washed it last night, and took it to the hospital to stay by the incubator. I put it in the incubator, but didn't let it touch him. It is a regular sized TY beanie baby, but it is huge compared to Maks! I think it will be fun to watch his growth change through the months.





He is having a good day, and he is up to 5ml on his breast milk! He has never made it that far, so I am pretty excited! He also passed the two pound mark today! Tonight he weighs 945 grams, which is almost 2lbs 1 oz. He has almost doubled his birth weight. Crazy!!! Other than that, not much has changed! Keep it going, Maksim!

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Day 31

Maks is hanging in there today. He went up to 4ml of breast milk every 3 hours, and he is supposed to go up to 5ml tomorrow. That will be a milestone, because he has never made it up to 5 before. He seems to he tolerating it well, and he has good bowel sounds, a soft belly, and good bowel movements. I am really hoping he can get off of the TPN soon to prevent complications associated with long-term use of it.

This morning when I got there, he was having several bradys and desats. I have no idea why he was, but it was stressful because the alarms kept going off. He self-recovered on some of them, but required some stimulation on others. I got to hold him this morning, and he actually did much better when I was holding him and even after. I don't think he had any bradys the whole time I held him!

I know he is still a little guy, but I think he looks kind of chunky in the picture from today. You can also kind of see him pushing himself up on his knees. He has been doing this a lot. He has figured out how to wriggle himself off the side of his pillow, and he looks like he is trying to escape from the incubator. He is definitely getting stronger.

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Day 30

Day thirty means Maks had his thirty day head ultrasound. I am so relieved and excited to see the results came back as normal!


Maks is having a good day! He is back up to 3ml of breast milk every three hours, and they reduced the CPAP settings back down to 5. He has been tolerating that well, and he is continuing to have more regular bowel movements. We are very excited about that! He weighs 825 grams which is 1 lb 13.5 oz. We are getting closer and closer to 2 pounds!

I held him today, and I must say it is getting harder and harder to leave the hospital. I shouldn't even say that because I know we have such a long road ahead of us, but I just hate to leave him. Especially when his eyes are wide open looking at me. :( This little guy is quickly stealing my heart.

Milyn is also at such a fun age right now. I just had to post this cute picture of her having a tea party with "snuggles" her teddy bear! She is so stinking cute.


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Day 29

Maks is 4 weeks old today, and 30 weeks gestation as of yesterday. The 30 week mark is a milestone which means he gets to have colored bedding! Here is a picture of him with his cute safari sheets.


He is back up to 2ml of breast milk every 3 hours, and he finished his course of the diflucan. That is a medication that is used prophylactically to prevent fungal infections in micro preemies. He has been on it since day one.

Tomorrow he gets his 30 day head ultrasound to see if he has had any brain bleeds. We are praying that this turns out well. Tomorrow is fast Sunday, and we are praying for good results on that and that Maks will start tolerating the breast milk better so he can grow!

My cousin, Katie, went through the temple this afternoon, and I was grateful for the opportunity to be there. I am grateful for the peace I felt there today and for temples and eternal families. I am also thankful for prayer and for the many prayers throughout the world being said for Maks. Please continue to include him in yours!

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Day 28

The ups and downs of having a micro preemie in the NICU are starting to get stressful. Today wasn't even a horrible day, and it still stresses me out. Maks is having a hard time again tolerating the breast milk (surprise surprise), and the doctors are starting to get concerned about his lack of weight gain. He is pretty far behind where he should be, and it is definitely discouraging. I feel so helpless; there is literally nothing I can do to help make him better. I held him yesterday, but I worried about bothering him too much today. I wanted to give his body some time to "rest and digest," so I hardly even got to see him. I know I will get used to the roller coaster, but in the meantime, it is stressful.

They decreased the breast milk to 1ml every 3 hours and increased his CPAP settings to give him a little more breathing assistance. He did have another bowel movement today, so that is encouraging. Nothing else has changed, and I am definitely grateful for no other major setbacks at the moment. Hopefully the decrease in breast milk will help him adjust, and they can start increasing again soon!

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