Day 79

Maks got to wear real clothes today! I thought for sure they would fit him because he seems so big to me compared to how small he was. Well, even at 5lbs, the preemie clothes are way too big. I guess he isn't quite as big as I thought! :) I put them on, though, and scrunched them up a bit, and he looks super cute!








He has done well today and has had fewer episodes of tachypnea. They will just check his hematocrit tomorrow with the regular weekly labs. Hopefully they look good, so he doesn't need another transfusion.

Yesterday at Time Out For Women, one of the presenters, John Hilton III, quoted Richard G. Scott from the October 1999 General Conference for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. This is what Elder Scott said:

"The Lord has placed currents of divine influence in your life that will lead you along the individual plan He would have you fulfill here on earth. Seek through the Spirit to identify it and carefully follow that direction that the Lord has put in your life. Align yourself with it. Choose, willingly, to exercise your agency to follow it. Do not be overcome by concentrating solely on today, its challenges, difficulties, and opportunities. Such preoccupations must not totally capture your attention so as to consume your life. Oh, how I would encourage you to weave deeply into the fabric of your soul the recognition that your life now is a part of a much bigger plan the Lord has for you. You lived part of it in the premortal existence. You were valiant there and came here because you wanted to grow and enjoy greater happiness. What you decide to do now will affect how well you fulfill that divine, personal plan He has for you."

For some reason, the word "currents" in the first sentence really inspired me. I had a hard time concentrating on the rest of the talk, because I was so intrigued by currents. I began thinking about their influence on bodies of water and their necessity in directing the waters's path, and I began comparing my life to a body of water being influenced by divine currents.

Since I was 10, I have loved writing poems, a hobby I inherited from my Grandma Joan. I love how they allow me to express my emotions in rhythm. It has been quite sometime since I last wrote a poem, but I was so inspired by currents, I truly felt I needed to dig deeper into my feelings and put them on paper. Although this is what I believe inside, my faith on this subject is somewhat wavering right now. Perhaps this is why I was inspired to write.

Currents - Shalee Belnap 2013

It seems basic, you know, water's path to the sea.
From on top of a mountain, through rivers and streams.
But the water is faced with a turbulent strain
As currents compel and influence the way.

These currents are formed when an obstacle trends
Maybe rocks, or an edge, or a tortuous bend.
And what is the water without all this force?
It remains in a stand-still without purpose or course.

And such is our life on this journey we ride
As we seek for the purpose and course in our stride.
We know our beginning; we seek for our end;
And the journey between is an untraveled friend.

But what when this course takes an unplanned turn
From the journey we'd sought for, and hoped for, and yearned?
It comes as an obstacle, trial, or test
To shape and to mold on our eternal quest.

We grumble and groan as that goal loses sight.
"How could God do this? That pathway was right!"
We fail to notice God's hand on our raft
For He placed these currents to alter our path.

God has a vision of what we can be.
He influences currents on our path to the sea.
And just like the water requires such force
So do we need direction on our divine course.


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